Kevin's Marathon

Learning At The MS, Part 2: Moth or Cockroach

2011-11-17T11:17:00.001-08:00

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." Helen Keller

Recently I visited one of the ELA classes on our campus. The teacher and students were in a lively discussion as I slipped into the room. A student was explaining how she just did not like to take risks and did not want to fail. The teacher answered, "Then I guess you're a cockroach." What??

I sat in a desk at the back of the room and began reading the poem that the students were discussing. It was "The Lesson of the Moth" by Don Marquis. The poem was a discussion with a moth on why they fly near light, when there is so much danger near light. The moth answers in one verse saying, "It is better to be happy for a moment and be burned up with beauty than to live a long time and be bored all the while."

The classroom discussion then began to be about the comparison of "Are you a moth or a cockroach?"
There is danger in risk, but without risk there is no reward. Am I content to live on the ground without realizing the beauty above me?

C.S. Lewis, one of my favorite writers, says, "We are content to play in puddles, like children, while the ocean is beside us." I want to be aware of opportunities around me. I do not want to be content. Jeremiah 46:17 says, " They cried there, Pharaoh, king of Egypt, is but a noise. He missed the appointed time." The word opportunity or appointed in Latin is "ob portu" which was a ship waiting on the tide to head to sea. I refuse to allow fear to prevent me from missing an appointed time to head out to sea.

"A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for." William Shredd

I want to go on a mission trip overseas. I want to risk danger to see the beauty of the light. We live in a house that had four children and they are all living their lives. Where are we supposed to go? What are we supposed to do? In the Bible there is a parable about men with talents. The greatest judgement was to the man who buried his talents to be safe. I refuse to be safe! I will be a moth!

Learning At The Middle School, Part 1: Prejudice, Who Me?

2011-11-02T11:54:00.000-07:00

I am a principal and one task of my job is to conduct "walk-throughs." This is spending a short amount of time in a classroom to get a feel of the class, recognize the classroom objectives, and the amount of student engagement through teaching strategies in use. I recently was in our speech classroom and the students were working with a partner filling out a personal survey. One of the students did not have a partner so I sat down to use the questions and to be interviewed by her. An interview directive said, "Name some of your prejudices." Of course, I said I had none. The next part of the lesson described that we ALL have feelings of prejudice and the rest of the lesson would help identify these feelings.

A middle school lesson caused me to have several days of self reflection and contemplation. Prejudice means to "pre-judge." It is a preformed opinion based on lack of information, insufficient knowledge, or irrational feelings. On the world wide web, I confess that I am guilty of prejudice. Let me name a few that I found:

NASCAR fans - I have a mental picture of NASCAR fans in tank/halter tops, a Bud in one hand & the rest of the 6-pack in the other, and loud. I have never been to a NASCAR event and every part of my image is "pre-judging." I now know that lack of information drives these feelings.
Tattooed Persons - I am getting better at this one, but I have a long way to go. I now make myself engage in a conversation with a wearer of tattoos. I think it's because I am still wondering why. Sadly I am sure this comes from my own culture and upbringing. Insufficient knowledge causes me to not understand this group.
British - It has nothing to do with any past wars or any historical conflicts between nations. I just feel they are looking down on me. The most common word sounds so "fancy" and "uppity" when they say it. It also irritates me that they call us "Yanks." They also call soccer........ football. I guess it is somewhat easier when someone from another country speaks an entirely different language, for me, anyway.
Drivers of "4 x 4" Trucks - Now I have had 4-wheel drive trucks and have lived in places where it was needed. I'm talking about the trucks with oversized tires, lifters - that require a ladder for the average person to get inside, especially when they are driving these vehicles on I-35. I know they get 2 mpg and I just don't get it. Yes, I have irrational feelings toward them.
Canadians - They are so obsessed with hockey and I just don't get it. Their national symbol is a leaf...........really?!? All the cold fronts seem to originate from them. Classic lack of information, because I don't even know anyone from Canada.

If you are a member of any of these groups, please forgive me. I admit that I have allowed my own lack of knowledge form my opinions. Maybe I should buy a 4x4 truck, get a tattoo, attend the next NASCAR event, and vacation in Canada & Europe. Or maybe I just need to become more educated and less judgmental.

Wounded Healers.....(Don't Be That Guy)

2011-10-31T05:54:00.000-07:00

Cancer is a terrible disease and like many other illnesses, is not a respecter of gender,age, race, income level, or any personal accomplishments. This last weekend has only reminded me of how many lives cancer has touched, as I have seen the pink socks, sweatbands, banners, and other ways that the fight against cancer has been publicized. The positive support and encouragement is overwhelming.

Chris has begun her 6-weeks of radiation. The rest of this post has been partially written months ago, erased, discussed and then has become one of my thoughts with close friends about the importance of encouragement in the lives of cancer survivors. But once again I need to say.................

*DISCLAIMER - The following blog is based on some fictitious characterizations of advice & comments from visitors. Any resemblance to persons, whether living or dead is purely coincidental or you were truly obnoxious and I couldn't get your conversation out of my mind.

While in the middle of my fight with cancer I had many conversations and comments from well intentioned visitors. I am afraid that many of us need to learn how to be an encouragement during pain and suffering. Perspective is greatly needed by the person who is suffering but sometimes there are NO answers. Philip Yancey in "Where is God When It Hurts" writes, "A faith founded on the Great Physician should bring peace, not confusion, at a time of crisis."

These are some of my visitors & maybe you have met some of them also:

"Harry Potter Healers" - The conversation would begin with their sincere prayers they have been interceding for me....... and then the magic wand is revealed. Healing comes through reciting the correct prayer and believing that you are healed. Oncologist, radiation, and chemotherapy are only complicating God's plan. If no healing, then not enough faith. But what about Paul? Beaten, shipwrecked, beaten more, imprisoned, a physical ailment, sickness..............I guess he didn't have the magic wand either.
"Uncle Tony's Tumor Tellers" - Everyone has been touched by illness and cancer is everywhere. Please don't tell a story that does not encourage. I was in the middle of my battle, weak from chemo, and getting my scans. The nurse injecting me with a radioactive isotope said, "You have multiple myeloma. That is pretty rare. My father had that and he wasn't supposed to make it six months and he lived for almost two years." Don't be that guy! I wanted to hear from those survivors who have ridden the lightning (radiation) and tasted the poison (chemotherapy). Paul says it in this way in I Corinthians 1: 3-4, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble."
"Power Point Pals" - These are the visitors who not only had a systematic lesson, they had complete insight into what God is wanting to teach me. The lessons are based on the premise that things DO NOT just happen. Stick with them through their lessons and use self examination to find the "bullet" that is your life.
"Happy, Happy, Joy-Joys" - They come bringing flowers, pictures, and enter the room humming. They clap their hands and talk about stones a-singing and brooks a-babbling. The more you hurt, the louder they are with their happiness. The only thing missing are pew pom-poms.
"Logic Lovers" - All statements made are in conditional statement form with a hypothesis (if) and a conclusion (then.) If you have sin, then.............. If you have a bad diet then.................... If you have faith, then................ I want you to know that it sometimes doesn't make sense. Chris could always tell when I had been beside a child getting chemo. Cancer in children DOES NOT MAKE SENSE.
"Funeral Home Friends" - They haven't laughed since 1992 and they know that God loves a serious Christian. They whisper around you and speak in acronyms. It's not cancer, it's the C-word. If you crack a joke, then you must not understand the gravity of your condition. I promise, if you have cancer, you KNOW how serious it is!!

I have seen encouragers modeled for me and I have learned much from them. My family has been the best, but here are a few non-family members who have exemplified the skilled art of encouraging:

Jeff Clark - my dear friend, always ready to help & man enough to cry with me.
Fran Dobbs - our neighbor who knows that some hot soup fixes anything.
Ruth Ann Jones, my sister Sharon, & Aunt Va - the Hallmark award, write it on a card so they can read it often.
Jason Davis - a new friend that encourages with few words, "Be strong."
Don & Betty Boone - sat downstairs during a surgery for 5 hours & said that guests only complicate things but wanted to be there in case they were needed.
Lance Shelton & Kathy Clark - they love me like a brother & make me LAUGH!!
Rex Jackson - faithful friend, always knows what is needed.

"Rejoice with those who are rejoicing, and weep with those who are weeping." Romans 12:15. Enough said.

HOLD FAST!

2011-09-18T14:45:00.000-07:00

Many times I use the phrase "Hold Fast" at the end of my notes or letters. I usually list II Timothy 1:13 beside this phrase which says:

¹³ Hold fast the pattern of sound words which you have heard from me, in faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. II Timothy 1:13 (New King James)

As sailors traveled to far off countries, they encountered tribes who used the art of tattooing. Sailors then began to use tattoos to tell their stories, celebrate milestones, and fuel the superstitious beliefs in these body markings. Many sailors had the phrase "HOLD FAST" tattooed on their knuckles. This was to remind them to hold tightly to the lines. Their ability or inability to hold the line would decide the fate of the very life of the sailor or the lives of their shipmates. The tattoo was usually written to face the sailor so as he was gripping the line he would see the reminder, HOLD FAST. An interesting fact I learned is that many of the sailors were unable to swim. Their determination to hold on literally meant life or death.

I love quotations of famous people. I even have several books of only quotes. This verse I have quoted says to hold fast to the pattern of sound words. But the sound words I have hung on to during tough times in my life are not the quotes of theologians, presidents, or philosophers. I remember the wise words of:

My grandmother, Ma-Ma.
My father, Von Weaver.
My mother, G-G.
My "other mother", Zora McBride, Gammy.
My wife's father & my friend, Danny McBride, PawPaw.

Each of their lives has told me a story. Each of these loved ones has given me sound advice, with a common theme.............."Don't Give Up!"

I hope you enjoy this video - "Hold Fast" by Mercy Me.

Don't Hang Up Your Harp, Keep Singing!

2011-09-09T07:55:00.000-07:00

My wife, Chris, and I have many things in common. We both love to work outside, play sports, exercise, cook new foods, read and watch the Cooking Network, ..................but we also have differences. Recently I have realized a puzzling difference between us. Chris uses music and her songs to give her strength and express what she believes, not what she is feeling. If I may quote my sister Karen, "I sing because I'm happy!"

One of the first queries I heard Chris ask her surgeon last week was, "Will I be able to play the piano and sing this Sunday?" My brain was filled with many questions but this was not one of them.

In Psalm 137, the Israelites are recorded with the same logical feelings that I have, you sing when you're happy. The harp was used to express joy and happiness. The Israelites had been taken to Babylon into captivity.

Psalm 137:1-4
¹ By the rivers of Babylon,
There we sat down, yea, we wept
When we remembered Zion.
² We hung our harps
Upon the willows in the midst of it.
³ For there those who carried us away captive asked of us a song,
And those who plundered us requested mirth,
Saying, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!”
⁴ How shall we sing the LORD’s song
In a foreign land?

Right now we revisit the foreign land, the world of cancer. I write, plan and speak to others about my feelings. My wife sings. Last Sunday Chris sang a duet with our music minister & dear friend, Rex Jackson. Rex's wife, Cathy, is a breast cancer survivor. Here is the song "Faithful" from Sunday:

http://youtu.be/YraIoEDAL44

Don't Ever Drive The Course Before You Run It!

2011-09-06T16:54:00.000-07:00

In April of 2006 I ran in my first marathon. A marathon is 26.2 miles and was on my bucket list. I didn't tell many people that I was going to attempt this and Chris and I drove to Oklahoma City for the OKC Memorial Marathon. I had trained for 4 months, but in the program in which I participated for this first marathon, my longest run was 20 miles. This training program said that anything after 20 miles only destroyed tissue, so my first time to run 26 miles would be in a race.

We arrived in OKC to attend the Marathon Expo on Saturday. We picked up my timing chip and race bib and listened to speakers. The last thing we had planned was to get a map and drive the course. We wanted to find places for Chris to drive and meet me & I wanted to get an idea of what I was about to do. As we were getting our map, I heard a race official speaking to a group describing the race, elevation, and the layout of the course. A runner that I was standing beside asked, "Are you running the marathon tomorrow?" I replied that it was my first and he said he had run marathons in every state. He then said, "Don't listen to what they are saying. The worse thing you can ever do is drive the course and realize exactly what you are going to do." He saw my puzzled look and he said again, "Don't ever drive the course, you will never run it!"

There are so many times I wanted to know what tomorrow holds. Worry can consume us. I am so glad that God does not allow us to "drive" the course. In a marathon you literally will yourself to run to the next water station, or the next group of encouragers, or to put one foot in front of the other, or finally to reach the finish line & your family.

Matthew 6:34

The Message (MSG)

³⁴"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Tomorrow my wife, Chris, will have surgery. I refuse to "drive the course." I know we will have some more challenges in the next few weeks and months. Tonight I will not focus on any of those. I will take one day at a time.

Advisory: This Blog Has Been Rated M, H, T

2011-09-03T08:09:00.000-07:00

***Disclaimer*** This new post is rated "M" , "H, & "T".

M = Only should be read by the spiritually mature.

H = The author is hurting & asks not

to be judged.

T = The author will be transparent. (Some might not like what they see.)

One of the things that I feel we fail to do is allow others to truly see us. For the last few months I have been writing in my journal again instead of blogging. I tend to use my blog to be uplifting and encouraging. Today I cannot be a hypocrite. Wikipedia says, "Hypocrisy is the state of pretending to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, ideals, thoughts, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have.^[1] Hypocrisy involves the deception of others and is thus a kind of lie^[1].The word hypocrisy comes from the Greek (hypokrisis), which means "play-acting", "acting out" ^[3] The word hypocrite is from the Greek (hypokrites).

The Greek actor (hypocrite) would play a role to interpret the proper emotions for the character they were playing.

We are taught many things according to our gender. As a man I should provide for, protect, and cherish my family. When there is a noise outside, I should go investigate and see what it is, even if I am the one most afraid. Tears equal weakness and the "man-mask" should stay intact, unless alone, and then when one is done with the showing of emotion, the mask is to be promptly back in place.

For a Christian the stakes are raised. Pray without wavering, exhibit complete faith in God, trust that "I can do all things through Christ", and "all things work together for good." Both of these commonly misquoted scriptures, Romans 8:28 and Philippians 4:13 should never be quoted without the verses that are to go with them. (Rom. 8:28-29 & Philippians 4:12-13)

My wife, Chris, had a mammogram this past Monday. That evening she called me to tell me that she was on her way home; I though I could detect something different in her voice. Maybe she was stopping to get us supper or going to prepare us some bizarre dessert for which she found the recipe while in the waiting room. It is safe to assume that in my world, surprises involve food. Much to my dismay, when Chris arrived home, she stepped into the bedroom not to tell me about a sweet treat we were going to enjoy, but that the doctor had found a mass on her breast. We needed to make an appointment with a surgeon.

I was caught with my mask not in place. I was not a rock. My world caved in. I walked outside and collapsed on the ground. Alone, I didn't plead with God, but I ranted and wept. My praise through all of my journey as a cancer survivor was that it was me and not my wife or children having to fight the fight. Now I learned that the monster was after my wife.

I was living Psalm 88. Scholar Walter Brueggeman calls this psalm "an embarrassment to conventional faith." He even asks, "What is a psalm like this doing in our Bible?" Maybe he never felt his world collapse or been thrown into the cave or maybe he's stronger than me or maybe he always kept his mask. Mark Buchanan writes, "Psalm 88 gives us language that transposes agony into prayers. Sorrow seeks to render us mute. Psalm 88 gives voice to what is most angry and grief-stricken and frightened inside us."

¹ O LORD, God of my salvation,
I have cried out day and night before You.
² Let my prayer come before You;

Incline Your ear to my cry.
³ For my soul is full of troubles,
And my life draws near to the grave.
⁴ I am counted with those who go down to the pit;
I am like a man who has no strength,
⁵ Adrift among the dead,
Like the slain who lie in the grave,
Whom You remember no more,
And who are cut off from Your hand.

⁶ You have laid me in

the lowest pit,
In darkness, in the depths.
⁷ Your wrath lies heavy upon me,
And You have afflicted me with all Your waves. Selah
⁸ You have put away my acquaintances far from me;

You have made me an abomination to them;
I am shut up, and I cannot get out;
⁹ My eye wastes away because of affliction.

LORD, I have called daily upon You;

I have stretched out my hands to You.
¹⁰ Will You work wonders for the dead?
Shall the dead arise and praise You? Selah
¹¹ Shall Your lovingkindness be

declared in the grave?
Or Your faithfulness in the place of destruction?
¹² Shall Your wonders be known in the dark?
And Your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness?

¹³ But to You I have cried out, O LORD,
And in the morning my prayer comes before You.
¹⁴ LORD, why do You cast off my soul?
Why do You hide Your face from me?
¹⁵ I have been afflicted and ready to die from my youth;
I suffer Your terrors; I am distraught.
¹⁶ Your fierce wrath has gone over me;
Your terrors have cut me off.

¹⁷ They came around me all day long like water;
They engulfed me altogether.
¹⁸ Loved one and friend You have put far from me,
And my acquaintances into darkness.

The journey begins again for our family. Chris is the most incredible person I have ever met. She sings like an angel and is more competitive than any athlete I have ever coached. My wife is the best cook and can make a gourmet meal without a single recipe. Chris is a beautiful servant, as a high school counselor, as she puts her students above herself daily. She is my inspiration as a parent, as she shows unconditional love for our children and grandchildren. Her outward beauty is breath-taking but her inner qualities astound me. I have always been astounded that she chose to marry me (her Dad feels the same.)

Chris and I are often teased how we do almost everything together. We will now change roles on a race we have run before. While the news is grim at the time, we have many things on our side. The tumor is small and Chris is young and in good health. We already have a team of cancer doctors & nurses who are ready to lead us through the next leg of the race. We serve a powerful God, who is our healer!

Chris will have surgery next week. We will go to our oncologist to develop the game plan. Please pray! Pray that I will be strong enough for Chris, but weak enough to trust my Father. Pray for our children! This is not new to them, but it still hurts. Ryan, Amanda, Derick, and our grandsons, Ryland & Rance are in Maryland. Distance is tough. Kati & Callie are in college at UNT in Denton. Our parents and siblings are suffering with us again.

The Resurrection Provides a Picture of the Perfection

2011-04-19T18:38:00.000-07:00

My oldest son, Ryan, who is a chaser of lions on snowy days & pastor of Remedy Church, recently asked me to share exactly what the resurrection of Jesus Christ means to me. This request forced me to once again ask questions and find answers to hope, purpose, passion and meaning.

As the name of my blog suggests, I used to be a marathon runner. This discipline taught me much about life and prepared me for the greatest physical battle that I would ever face. While I sometimes felt weak and weary, marathons strengthened me with visible lessons of the seasons of my life. Several months ago I enjoyed some time with my nephew, Adam (adamhendrix.com), who recently ran his first marathon. We were like two teenage girls gabbing about dreamy vampires, as we each shared our stories of endurance training and marathon experiences. As we visited, the only time either one of our eyes welled with tears was when we recounted our finishes. Above all the adrenaline-igniting starts and mind-games to keep the focus, the finish is what it's all about. Hearing cheering friends and family. High-fiving strangers. Cramping so severely we walked like Frankenstein, but laughing and smiling almost in spite of the pain. The finish was beautiful. The finish was perfect.

The Bible talks about the finish. Hebrews 12:1-2a says, "Therefore, we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross" (bold added by me!)

The start of a marathon is easy, just as most of our lives. The start is about jet fly-overs, national anthems, and nervous chatter of strangers. I have begun marathons and run parts of the races with the Blues Brothers, Indian Princesses, Lady Liberty and even barefoot elves. But somewhere along the way in the race, all of these characters seem to disappear. Most of us began life with little problems, pain or trouble. The start is relatively easy.

Somewhere after mile 10, the grind begins. You begin to see runners on the curb and the pain increases in intensity. Questions begin to surface, "Why am I doing this? Is this really worth the pain?" The excitement and laughter, along with The Blues Brothers, Indian Princesses, Lady Liberty, and barefoot elves, are gone. In November of 2008, I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. The next few months of surgery, radiation and chemotherapy began the grind. During the pain and depression of the grind, what keeps you running? For a season, it's the crowd or the witnesses. In a marathon, it's the strangers who call out your name, the musicians who sing for you or fellow runners who share their hopes of why they are running. All of this reminds you to keep going. In my world of cancer, the people in my life who cried with me, laughed with me, encouraged me and motivated me reminded me of why I had to keep running. Before reading on, take a moment and listen to Jack's Mannequin, Swim....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sA8PaIw5gcE

In one of my favorite movies, Tombstone, Doc Holliday says, "There is no normal life, Wyatt. There's just life. Ya live it." The grind taught me to enjoy life. The grind reminded me of how precious life is. The grind showed me a glimpse of the finish. Nothing about this life is perfect, but there is joy in living IF you live it. Psalm 90:12 reminds me to "Number my days," to make every day count. The joy is in the journey!

Somewhere at mile 18, a runner realizes that there are 8 miles to go and the mental picture of the finish provides the motivation for each step and stride. So what is it about the finish that makes the race worth running? The finish is cheering family. The finish is friends jumping up and down calling my name. The finish is "no more!" I remember every marathon seeing my wife, Chris, and sometimes my children, during the race and at the finish line. The finishes were always beautiful and memorable. But there was still pain. In Revelation 21:4, John describes heaven as no more pain, tears or sorrow. The finish line is free of the pains that come with the journey. At my finish, my grandmother, Ma-Ma, will laugh with me. My brother (in-law), Don, will shout with me. My cousin Ken, who had been a quadrapalegic, will run with me, and my cancer family members will embrace me. Even if my wife and best friend, Chris, is on this earth years after me, she will arrive in just a few moments. The finish teaches us that time is an earthly measure.

But most importantly, my savior, Jesus Christ will be there at my finish. The power of the resurrection is in Jesus. He is my hope and my healer. This finish will be perfect. This finish will be beautiful. Happy Easter! Jesus lives!

Celebrating in the Locker Room!

2009-12-24T18:16:00.000-08:00

I have been called Coach for 28 years now. (Sidebar----as my friend Mark asked me years ago, "Why are you called by your chosen profession?".............we don't say, "Salesman Bob, Mechanic Bill, Technician Mark, Store clerk Sara,..........oh well, I digress!) One of the toughest things in my profession is losing and winning. I know, you would think that the winning would be easy. But remember that so many times, when I win a game, I have a friend who is the coach of the other team and he just lost.

Years ago I began the practice of teaching my players that we cry or celebrate in the locker room. It is the place where emotions can be let out without offending or being judged by others. It is hard to celebrate a win when you know that a colleague just lost a game that might endanger his job. The other team has worked hard. The opposing coach has prepared them. But I also learned that you MUST celebrate the wins or the game is not worth playing!

Yesterday Chris and I received the best Christmas gift ever..........completely clear scans and tests. We both cried tears of joy as our oncologist said, "I truly think we can call this a solitary plasmacytoma. Your disease is still myeloma but I do not think it is multiple." What a year and words I thought I would never hear. The normally stoic Dr. Wyzynski hugged both of us in a huge bear hug. He said, "Please go tell your children Merry Christmas and you will live a long life."

I have spent many hours of the last year in the cancer center. Chris and I have precious friends all over this huge complex. Who do we tell first? My nurses in the infusion center. The radiologists who helped kill the tumor. My radiation doctor, who was so compassionate with me during the pain. Paul, the vampire, who takes my blood, and has become a precious friend. Sara, Shawn, Reba, Dr. Lei, Steve......................... but.....................we rounded the corner and saw our other friends, my fellow patients and sufferers.

The couple in infusion who are both going through chemotherapy together, the man and his wife who we have been praying for and they received the news she has Stage 4 cancer, the sweet lady in the wheelchair who is my fellow reader,..........................the eyes of pain that smiled as they saw us and said "Merry Christmas!"

Coming from a long line of "starched underpants, southern Baptist ministers", I am still learning the art of celebrating. Praise God for answered prayers. WOOOOOO HOOOOO! I am in my locker room and I am ecstatic, but my heart still breaks for my cancer brothers and sisters. My back still feels the pain of radiation, my stomach easily remembers the rejection of any nourishment because of the poison of chemo, the sleepless nights, listening to your wife and best friend cry herself to sleep, and the pity in the eyes of friends.

I celebrate, but my prayers are with you! May this be the best Christmas ever!

A Year of Change

2009-12-24T14:59:00.000-08:00

This has been a year of change. In his book "Developing the Leader Within You", John Maxwell writes, "Change means traveling in uncharted waters, and this causes our insecurities to rise." Chris and I have definitely seen uncharted waters in the year 2009. Here are a few of the changes:

Our youngest daughter, Callie, had major reconstructive knee surgery in January
I not only missed my first basketball game in 28 years, I missed 16 of them
I finished 5 weeks of radiation in January
Our second grandson, Rance was born in March
My wife, Chris, graduated with her masters degree in May
I turned 50 years old in May and I was thrilled to see it!
Our superintendent retired and we lost our principal & friend to that position
Our oldest daughter, Kati, graduated from high school in June (valedictorian!)
Our youngest son, Derick, moved to Maryland in June
I finished 3 months of chemotherapy in June
In July, we were able to hold Rance for the first time
We lost our dog Gracie, an Akita, after losing her sister Maxine, last year
Our children, Ryan and Amanda, became church planters as they began a church in MD
I began my masters' degree and principal certification (BACK TO SCHOOL!)
In August, Kati moved to Denton to attend North Texas University
Callie became an only child
I had my second round of scans and tests, with no signs of new tumor

What a year! It has been a year of tough times, challenges, and extreme blessing. The uncharted waters have been scary but the journey is great!

PASSWORDS!

2009-09-12T19:18:00.001-07:00

My life is filled with passwords. I may be required to use them, but I am such a creature of habit. Recently I have tried to follow the advice of my friend, Mark, who is our school's computer technician. He has repeatedly told me that I should use a password that includes a variety of lower and upper case, numbers and letters. I have failed miserably for the last 12 years to fulfill his wishes.

A couple of years ago, Mark was leading a computer inservice for our school district and using the LCD to demonstrate. He said he would log into this particular program as a teacher to lead the discussion. He typed in my name, hesitated, while staring at the screen and promptly entered my password on the first attempt. One faculty member was shocked and asked how do you know Coach Weaver's password. He replied, "I had a one out of two chance, and it was his cat."

You won't get into our bank account though. When I was setting up our online account, I was asked a series of questions. I guess I didn't pay attention to what they were asking and the first time Chris was logging she kept missing the answers. I had supplied several right answers to the wrong questions. Now that, my friends is security. Example: my maternal grandmothers' first name is not Chris' grandmother.............I guess since Chris is Mom at our home I thought........................................oh , never mind.

This year I have become an improved, computer savvy user of encrypted security. It's not working very well. I am just like the freshmen at our high school, who are issued a combination locker and then tape the combination to their locker. How do I remember all of these passwords? I keep getting frustrated, embarrassed, and even locked out of accounts. I feel like a criminal. Then I had an epiphany. No one wants into anything that I have anyway! I don't need this. Sorry, Mark!

It's the cat!

Oops, Please Look Below!

2009-09-03T19:52:00.000-07:00

OOPS!!!!

I have some new posts. They are out of order because I started them on earlier dates. Please look below and enjoy!

Sleepless in Seattle......NO....Portless in Honey Grove!!

2009-08-13T18:12:00.000-07:00

On the first week of February, I had the this port placed in my body. It was a blessing. It prevented my veins from collapsing and I did not have to wait for an IV drip. The nurses were able to administer my chemotherapy and other drugs straight into my body through this port. It was in my chest and the tube went through the vena cava into my circulatory system.

Our good friend and sister, by choice, Kathy Clark, who you can see on a previous blog, called it my "man boob." For some reason the port always bothered me. (Not that I have anything against "man boobs, manzeers, or bros") It burned at unusual times, my blood pressure was always extremely low, and it was a constant reminder that I was fighting cancer. I wanted to return to an active lifestyle quickly and a medi-port in my body was an obstacle.

I thank God that I have a doctor, my oncologist, Dr. Wyzynsky, who will listen to his patients. After the good report from the scans and tests, I asked if could I have the medi-port removed. He reminded me that I would be having monthly medication and I was not in remission yet. I guess he could read my face because he then said, "We could take it out and if we need another one, we can put one in, right, Kevin Von?"

We made an appointment with the surgeon who "installed" the port. He looked at us and said that we should not remove it. I was not in remission and this type of cancer, in his experience, always came back. Ports weren't a big deal to live with and they certainly didn't cause problems with blood pressure. Thanks to my beautiful partner, Chris, who has walked every step of this battle with me, who said, "Our doctor said Kevin should have this taken out. He's had problems ever since you implanted this port. Have you ever had one of these in your body?" Well, needless to say, the port's out! The moral of the story is..............DON'T CROSS MY WIFE!

If I need another medi-port at a later time, I will get another one! In the meantime, the following slightly used port will be for sale. You can stop by and look at it at anytime. I can't list it on e-bay, because it's classified as a biohazard. I also spsort a "sweet" scar, that I will tell everyone on the beach, is from:

A) Knife wound from saving an elderly woman from a mugger, or

B) Removing a bullet from my chest in battle, by myself, or

C) Misjudging the basket while dunking, and cut my chest on the rim?

I am trying to bring humor to all of this, but I cannot praise Chris enough for all of the things she has done for me the last 9 months. She is the most loving, beautiful, and unselfish woman in the world. She prays with me, holds me, chauffers me as my driver, lets me cry when needed, holds my hand while suffering and my head while puking, lets me be honest about the pain, dresses me, pulls me out of "the cave" when I'm down, laughs with me at highly inappropriate times (like when I learned what a catheter was!!), and always reminds me that we can beat this.

I love you, Christine Dawn!

(This is Chris & me in Colorado this summer!)

CAVES

2009-08-07T19:08:00.000-07:00

I believe that poetry, music, and writings, many times allow us to see

into the soul of the creator. Music has always been a big part of my life.

When I was training for marathons, running

sometimes 50 miles a week, my music was a big part of my runs.

Last winter, while I was in the tough part of my cancer treatment, my son, Ryan wrote a

blog and included this song. He called me and told me to listen to it.

It is a song by Jack's Mannequin. The writer and singer of the song is telling his story

of his life with cancer, the treatment, and life on the other side of treatments.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_WaGh0NqcU

Mount Rushmore

2009-08-07T08:50:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered how much discussion there must have been to decide on the four presidents that were sculpted on Mount Rushmore? President Coolidge insisted, that along with George Washington, there should be 2 Republicans and 1 Democrat. Can you say "Politics?" The sculptor, Gutzon Borglum, chose Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, and Theodore Roosevelt to join the image of George Washington. He said he chose these four presidents because of their influence on preserving the Republic and expanding its territory. Of course, the final choices were announced after funding was approved by Congress. (ha!)

So let's have some interactive fun, class. I am going to share with you my "Mt. Rushmore" choices in various areas. Post comments and enjoy!

*(The ideas shared on this blog are strictly the opinion of the blogger. They do not reflect the opinions of other Americans, Texans, or Fannin County residents, Microsoft, Macbook, basketball coaches, Republicans, or any other groups. If you don't like any of my choices................MAKE YOUR OWN DANG LIST!!)

Mt. Basketball Coaches - John Wooden, Red Auerbach, Bobby Knight, Roy Williams

(Why? Wooden = 10 championships and never wore a cap with "X" on it or told us how great he is. Auerbach=devotion to a team and players, helped break racial boundaries. Knight=beneath the crusty language and f-bombs is a great bb mind and loves his players. Williams=genuine, every time I have been around him, he has his feet firmly planted on the ground.)

Mt. Guitar Players - Eric Clapton, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Johnny Lang, Tyler Dow Bryant

(Why? Buy some cd's and listen. Sorry, you will have to get out of the "Christian" genre but I know 2 of these artists are believers. Remember christian is a great noun!!) Honorable Mention...Dave Matthews, Phil Keaggy, and Chet Atkins.

Mt. Authors - Patricia Cornwell, Mark Driscoll, Dean Koontz, Max Lucado, Donald Miller, Mark Buchanan, Michael Connolly, John Grisham, Mark Twain, James Grippando, .....okay, so this is why I have a Kindle, we can't build this mountain!!!

Mt. Musical Artist - The Beatles, Chris Tomlin, Led Zeppelin, Charlie Hall.

(Why? Beatles- changed the world of music. Tomlin-great song writer & praise music -Grand Saline, TX. Led Zeppelin- cause I like to run to their music. Charlie Hall- another great musician and my nephew went shopping with him!! Shout out to ADAM!!)

Mt. Athletes - Mohammed Ali, Michael Jordan, Roger Staubach, Nolan Ryan

(Why? Ali, while one of the greatest athletes of all time, has now become a champion in saving lives. Jordan.....enough said. Staubach, great on field accomplishments & just a CLASSY gentleman. Nolan Ryan, continues to help my Texas Rangers compete. Always has time for the fans.)

Mt. Restaurants - Starbucks, Saltgrass, Marble Slab, Starbucks

(Why? I really enjoy food, but my dream day.........start the morning at Starbucks with a great cup of joe, eat a medium rare ribeye at Saltgrass (caesar salad & baked sweet potato), ice cream at the Slab, and then back to the Buck for a "Triple Grande, skinny, Vanilla Latte!"

Mt. Football Coaches - Tom Landry, Vince Lombardi, Tony Dungy, Bud Wilkinson

(All four were GREAT coaches and CLASSY!)

Mt. Bicyclist - Lance Armstrong (in 4 different poses!) LIVE STRONG!!

Mt. "Places I Want To See" - New York City, Boston, Italy, Europe

(Why? Not giving up on my dream to run a marathon in NY or Boston, Italy for the food, and the rest of Europe for the history & castles.)

Mt. "Young Heroes of the Faith" - Jeremy Higle, Ryan Weaver, Adam Hendrix, Bruce Kendrick

(Who are these young men? Men who have found their passion and followed God in a way that amazes me! Jeremy is my cousin. He and his wife are missionaries in places that I cannot name for safety reasons. Ryan is my son. He and his wife are now planting a church on the east coast. Adam is my nephew. Adam and his wife are serving a church in Chicago that takes Christ to the streets in a way that is unbelievable. Bruce is a former player. He and his wife have begun a full time ministry for orphans. I will let each of these young men share more and with their permission will share web-sites later.)

Mt. "Best TV Shows" (after 1999) - Lost, Fringe, Boston Legal, The Office

(Why? Cause I said so!)

Mt. "Best TV Shows" (before 1999) - Andy Griffith, Seinfeld, Friends, Bewitched

(Why? Andy is my life and I learned to whistle while watching this show in my dad's lap, Seinfeld is truly hilarious, Friends because it makes me laugh, and Bewitched because Samantha always had a crush on me.)

Mt. "Movies" - Young Frankenstein, Sixth Sense, Apollo 13, Hoosiers

(Why? I really don't know!)

Mt. "Most Beautiful Women" - Chris Weaver (4 different poses)

(Why? Because it is true and I care for my life!!!)

Well, it's late and I am tired! Let the discussions begin!

Fire & Rain

2009-08-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

What is the hardest thing that you have ever done? Before this year, I would have quickly answered, "training for and running marathons." This has now changed. I have survived six months of fire and rain; radiation and chemotherapy. This process reminded me of a long-ago conversation I had with my dad, a pastor for 35 years. An elderly man in his church had suffered relapse with cancer, and this man had chosen not to receive treatment a second time. I remember quickly telling my father that I couldn't understand this - why would anyone not do everything he could to survive and prolong his life? I now understand.

I thank God daily for providing treatment for my disease, but the provision was a tough ride. On June 16th, I took my last chemotherapy treatment. In addition, I endured a day of tests and scans. While the doctors will not say that I am in remission at this time, they are encouraged that there are no signs of other tumors. My diagnosed cancer is multiple myeloma. Even the name suggests the biggest characteristic of this disease - multiple. Only 5% of those diagnosed with MM are distinguished as Solitary Plasmacytoma, and right now, I am a part of this five percent. Even the oncologists seemed shocked, yet elated, that no other tumors were detected. Praise God!

This picture shows a few of my care providers. They are my infusion nurses who have administered my chemo and medication. I still go once a month for treatment. What a calling these nurses have, not to mention they are the CRAZIEST people I have been around during this chapter of my life! They refuse to let you be sad or withdraw. It's a therapy that's been good for me. God has shown me laughter even on the darkest days through these "angels."

I look forward to another year of school, basketball, and time with my family. I look forward to seeing what other miracles God will bring my way. I look forward to sharing my thoughts on my blog. STAY TUNED!

Lions,Tigers, and Bears...........Oh my!

2009-04-19T17:26:00.000-07:00

20 Benaiah was the son of Jehoiada, the son of a valiant man from Kabzeel, who had done many deeds. He had killed two lion-like heroes of Moab. He also had gone down and killed a lion in the midst of a pit on a snowy day. And David appointed him over his guard. 2 Sam 23:20,23 (NKJV)

One of the books I am reading is In A Pit With A Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson. He uses the scripture above to define people that are lion chasers and then tells their stories. I hope I have raised my children to be lion chasers. Lion chasers are willing to take a chance. They realize that life is short and sometimes you have to risk it all to obtain the prize. Lion chasers win games, succeed in life, help others, and..........................plant churches.

This last week our son and daugher, Ryan and Amanda announced that they will become church planters this next fall. They are in Salsibury, Maryland. Ryan is serving as a youth minister at this time, but he has turned in his resignation. He will be starting a church. Is it a safe move? No; but it is needed.

When we talk about stewardship, most think that we are talking about our money. That is only one tiny part. We must be stewards of our imagination, our dreams, our talents, our energy, and even our humor. Stewardship is all-inclusive.

I am proud of our children who are lion chasers! Ryan and Amanda, we are proud of you and we will pray for you daily.

For more information you may go to terminalconfession.com

Happy Birthday! A Kindle!

2009-04-19T17:02:00.000-07:00

My birthday is approaching, more quickly than I would like, but it is not this month. Chris can never tease me again about not being able to wait. Years ago I bought Chris a complete cookware set from Pampered Chef. They were delivered to me in October and I planned on giving the gift to Chris when we moved into our new home in January. That evening, Chris looked at me and said, "What's going on with you? You have a funny look on your face." I answered with a "poker face," "Don't move! I bought you something and I can't wait to give it to you!"
Saturday morning, we were in the kitchen preparing breakfast for the kids and I walked out to the porch. Chris asked me to stay right there because they had something for me. My "other" parents (you might call them in-laws) and Chris had bought me a Kindle 2. What is a Kindle? It is an electronic device that will wirelessly download books, hold over 1,500 books and magazines, and will read aloud to you, if you so desire. Wow - unlimited access to literally tons of reading material!
By noon, I had twelve books downloaded on my Kindle, including two versions of the Bible - and I was in heaven. Wow! I sat and read for hours. I have always loved to read, but with my new life, I have been reading even more. Doctor appointments, waiting rooms, chemotherapy treatments, VERY early mornings...........all of these are times that a book helps me keep my sanity.
Thank you, Chris, for knowing and loving me! Thank you, Dad & Mom-2 (Danny & Zora) for giving me a special treat. Gotta go, I have books to read!

Pushing The Monster Back In The Box

2009-04-19T13:23:00.000-07:00

In November, I was diagnosed with cancer. I had surgery to remove the majority of the tumor. This was followed by five weeks of radiation and I just finished my third cycle of chemotherapy. This is the halfway mark for the chemo and I should finish on June 19th. After that, I do not know what is ahead. I will have scans and tests and we will make the decision for the next step in this battle.

In my real life, B.C. (before cancer), I was a math teacher/basketball coach. I am now trying to fight cancer and still fullfill these responsbilities. As a basketball coach, we have our own special language. My wife, Chris, is used to going on "scouting dates," discussing things like hedge, double, slam, open, baseline leg, flex, motion,.....................Yes, we seem to have our own language. I have learned that there is also a language spoken at the cancer center. I have had to learn it. Port, accessing the port, platelet counts, white blood cell count, red blood cell count, chemotherapy, radiation, myeloma, solitary plasmacytoma, stem cell transplant, bone marrow biopsy, etc... but the word we, as cancer patients, are all striving for is remission. Remission is defined as the reduction of a sentence or a temporary recovery.

This is what we cancer patients & survivors are all waiting to reach. We sit in our infusion contraptions receiving our chemo, and someone walks through the door. Although they are not quite treated like a "rockstar," they seem to have a celebrity status; they are family. As the person is introduced, (and they are always introduced) you are told, "This is _______, he/she has been in remission for the last ___ years/months." It's like a goal to reach, the prize at the end of the journey.

Why radiation? Why chemotherapy? We want to put the monster back in the box! It takes two years of clear tests and scans to be awarded the title of "in remission." Of all the titles I have obtained in my life, this is the title I covet. I want the monster.......................BACK IN THE BOX!!!!

A Cancer Patient, Contender, & Survivor....SMILE!

2009-04-07T17:53:00.000-07:00

I have had many of you say to me that I do not talk about my struggle with this disease enough on my blog. I do want to keep everyone informed, but I have enjoyed using my writings as an outlet. I guess in a way it is still hard for me to realize that I have cancer. Yesterday Mrs. Jones, a fellow math teacher, called me to her room to hand me a Relay For Life form. In my mind, I was already thinking how neat it would be to walk and participate, and then I realized that the form was for a cancer survivor. Reality..................I have cancer!

Why cancer? Why me? Instead of training and running to raise funds for others, I am the person with the disease.

What are the struggles? Some mornings, simply getting out of bed. Some days, failing to smile at others when the pain is intense. Some evenings, letting Chris rub my hands and feet because of the neuropathy that numbs,burns and stings. Some mornings, waking up at 2:30 a.m. when sleep is not an option. Some days, the chemotherapy makes me sick and I ache. Even through these struggles, I want to SMILE!

Reality of cancer is everywhere, but I choose to ignore it. Life is a vapor, and I choose to smile. I will let my daughter, Callie, share her feelings about a poem, Smile, that she read for her English class. This is her paper explaining why she chose the poem, Smile.

Smile

When I first spotted this poem, the only reason I really enjoyed it is was because it was so short. But as I read it over and over in the day, the meaning began to crawl out. I relate the word sunshine in the poem to time. Nothing big or fancy, just simply, time. It's a word that doesn't scare me by its meaning, but by not getting enough of it. I always dwell on having 3 long and boring more years of high school, and then right after that, 4 or more years of college! But I'm not so sure anyone stops to think about how quickly time slips away, not just by getting older, but by nagging about all the time. It's ironic really when in all honesty, we should be celebrating the fact that we have more time with our best friends, we have more time with our favorite sports, or in this case, I have more time with my father who has cancer. Time is a scary thing that people continue to take for granted. For others, time may be replaced with a certain object or a certain someone, but my time has been replaced by a cancer. It's a cancer that has a mind of its own. It's a cancer that has a ticking clock that can go off at any moment. It's a cancer that has its own time. So this poem opened my eyes to smile while time still hangs delicately in the air. So I say smile while you still can, smile while American Idol booms from your speakers, smile while it's your birthday, and smile while your father still lives! Don't wake up wishing you would have smiled a little more than the day before.

Smile

Smile, my sunshine,

for I am smiling, too.

All the while

that I've got you,

smile, my sunshine,

Do.

Innocent Once

The List Blog

2009-03-31T16:25:00.000-07:00

I had to keep (babysit) a class the other day, so I grabbed a few magazines from the library to peruse while I was sitting. One of the mags was Time, and it was the "list issue." Of course, my brain began to assemble some of my own lists and I thought .............I feel a BLOG!!!

These lists are for the last month and I reserve the right to change my mind. These lists are strictly the opinion of the author (Kevin Weaver) and do not reflect the opinion of any other person. No animals were harmed while writing this blog. Opps, I lied, I just kicked the cat off of my legs!

Top 5 Things Beside The Road While Running

1) Bungees (broken & not)

2) Bottles and cans

3) Cigarette butts

4) Diapers (yuck!)

5) License plates

Top 5 Books I Read Recently

1) They Like Jesus But Not The Church Dan Kimball

2) Scarpetta Patricia Cornwell

3) The Jesus of Suburbia Mike Erre

4) Lance Armstrong's War Daniel Coyle

5) About Myeloma Asad Bashley, MD,PhD

Top 5 Songs On My IPOD

1) I Will Rise Chris Tomlin

2) Caves Jack's Mannequin

3) Thankful Johnny Lang

4) Better Together Jack Johnson

5) Curbside Prophet Jason Mraz

Top 5 Foods Eaten In Our Kitchen Recently

1) Milkshake (Blue Bell- Moo-llenium Crunch & Non-Fat Milk!)

2) Oatmeal Cookies (Chris, I love you!)

3) Cilantro Crusted Tilapia

4) Mandarin Orange Spinach Salad

5) Chris' Meat Loaf

Top 5 Noises You Hear In The Morning At Our House

1) Coffee Pot Perking (It doesn't really percolate?!?)

2) Alarm clocks going off (Some for a long time!)

3) The shower upstairs.

4) Music upstairs, three different players in 3 rooms, all playing different music!!)

5) Shouts of "You have ___ minutes before it's time to leave!"

Top 5 TV Shows that are Weaver Tivoed

1) Lost

2) Fringe

3) 24

4) Grey's Anatomy

5) Diners, Drive-ins, & Dives

Top 5 Unused Biblical Names

1) Dodo (II Samuel 23:24-No matter how smart, the boy will never live down that name!)

2)Maher-Shalal-Hash-Baz (Isaiah 8:3 - Boy would have to go by a nickname!)

3)Bukki (I Chronicles 6:51-Might be used if boy has large incisors!)

4)Hoglah (Joshua 17:3 - Only should be used if girl is a feeder of swine!)

5)Jezebel (I King 19:2 - No explanation necessary.)

To Be Continued.................................................................................

The Comfort Zone

2009-03-28T15:09:00.000-07:00

Chris and I would like you to meet our new grandson, Rance D Weaver. He is the son of Ryan and Amanda, & the brother of Ryland Von. His middle name is D, with no period and no ee's. Even though he is in Maryland, you might notice that he is dreaming about Texas and the time he will spend with Pops and Lolly.

So what about his name? What is the big deal with names? By the way, the name Rance means "shield and defender." Names symbolize who we are and what we represent. There is nothing more special, nothing that will stop you more quickly in your tracks, than hearing someone say YOUR name. During our lives, we become comfortable, or get used to, hearing our names.

So, who are you?

We spend most of our lives answering this question. Our name represents who we are, but it is another journey entirely, to get comfortable and secure with who we really are.
At the end of Romans there is one verse that is simple, but profound.

22 I, Tertius, who wrote this epistle, greet you in the Lord. Romans 16:22 (NKJV)

I am astonished by this short, simple verse. Tetrius was the scribe for Paul in writing the book of Romans and he sends a "shout out" to other believers. This one verse is all we know of this man, but I sense that he is very secure in himself, as he sends out a short greeting to the church to which Paul was writing. So what prevents us from having this security?

I think that the biggest obstacle we have to overcome is "others." We worry about what others think of us and what we look like in the eyes of others. This concern can infiltrate all areas of our lives - our occupations, our vehicles, our houses, our clothes, and even our religion. We should focus on ourselves, who we are on the inside and who we believe ourselves to be, rather than being preoccupied with others' notions of us. There is another Bible story that helps us realize this truth. Jesus is with His disciples, after the resurrection, and he reveals to Peter how the twilight years of his life will be. Instead of standing there, amazed at what Jesus has just told him about his own future, he is immediately concerned about John's years ahead. Why?

21 Peter, seeing him, said to Jesus, "But Lord, what about this man?" 22 Jesus said to him, "If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me." John 21:21-22(NKJV)

Jesus is saying, don't worry about others. Don't look around you! Be comfortable with yourself, secure in who you are and the life God has prepared for you. I wonder how many seconds, minutes, days, months, or even years I have wasted by worrying about others, what they think of me, or what their lives hold for them?

This day I choose, just to follow, with my eyes on Him!

There's An Elephant in the Room (Shorty's Sermon)

2009-03-25T17:31:00.000-07:00

If you have read my blogs at all, I am sure you realize that I am a follower of Jesus Christ. You might not know, that I am not only the son of a Southern Baptist minister, but my grandfather was a minister, and now my oldest son, Ryan, is an ordained minister. It breaks my heart to tell you some troubling news. The church, as I know the church, is suffering and quite possibly dying. I do not want to bore you with the statistics, I want to ask you, if you attended a church growing up, to describe that church now. How many people between the ages of 21 and 35 attended this church? Use one word to describe the church of your childhood.

I love Jesus. I love the church. Change must happen if we want to connect to culture around us. I am reading an informative book, They Like Jesus, But Not The Church, by Dan Kimball. This man is a pastor, and one of the things he did was to get out of the church office. Now you must understand that his church allowed him to do this, but would you? He began to get his hair cut in a different area of town, prepare his sermons at the local coffee shop, and began to get out of the Christian bubble. As he talked to people, he found out that they respect and like Jesus, but they don't like the church.

So why am I calling this Shorty's sermon? We have an aerobic septic system and have a maintenance agreement. This last summer Shorty came out to work on our system. Chris and I visited with him and he shared how he was attending a cowboy church. We had a great conversation. Little did we know what the next few months would hold for either of us.

This past fall, I was diagnosed with cancer. During the same season, God called Shorty to start a church outside of Sulphur Springs. He started this church with 2 families. They now have 70-80 in attendance each Sunday. They have purchased an abandoned Methodist church building and he said that each Sunday he waits to see who will attend and what they will be wearing. He said he's even attended dressed in overalls to let the people know it's not what's on the outside that's important. His last sermon series was on refusing to judge the world around us, just to LOVE. I truly believe his heart matches Jesus' heart. People are drawn to Jesus.

As Shorty shared his story, Chris and I were captivated. I can't share everything he told us, but this part tells enough. According to Shorty, one Saturday night he was invited to a cookout and country singing. Of course, he said that most of the group was getting drunk, but he said he stayed anyway. He realized that some of the group didn't have tables at which to eat, so he said if someone would help him, he would get tables from his church. One of the men volunteered to go with him. Shorty said the man asked how he had keys to a church, to which Shorty replied, "I am the pastor." The man remarked, "If I ever went to a church, the ceiling would cave in!" When Shorty and his new friend arrived at the church, and the man got out with beer in hand. Shorty said that he turned around because the man had paused outside the door. He asked Shorty, "Aren't you going to tell me to leave this longneck outside?" Pastor Shorty replied, "That's between you and God." Needless to say, the man left his drink on the steps. This man and his family are the most recent new members at Cross Timber Cowboy Church. Shorty finished this account by adding, "His wife and kids are believers and strong, but God's Spirit will fix the man soon."

We must learn the lesson of allowing the Holy Spirit to convict. Our job is simply to love. We must reach out to the world around us, not hiding behind a tract or telling them to meet our pastor. Get to know people, connect to them and love them! Be to others what Jesus has been to you. On Sunday, we should gather and worship Jesus together as His body of believers. On Monday, we should head back to the world ready to love without judgement.

And Jesus said to her, "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more." John 8:11 (NKJV)

11 And when the Pharisees saw it, they said to His disciples, "Why does your Teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?" 12 When Jesus heard that, He said to them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. 13 "But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy and not sacrifice.' Matt 9:11-13

Look! Up in the sky!

2009-03-21T13:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday as I was driving to chemotherapy, I heard a news report that really got me to thinking. The report said that three more major newspapers have closed their doors just in the last week. I can't remember all of the numbers and statistics, but the business of printing and selling newspapers is in a precarious state. Will our children even ever buy a newspaper at a newsstand? Will the newsstand be headed to extinction to join the phone booth?

So when was the last time that you went into a phone booth to make a call? When is the last time that you even saw a phone booth or a public phone? I think we have survived very well without the phone booth on every corner, but didn't you worry where Superman would change into his suit, as these public utilities began to disappear?

I don't want to be a dinosaur. I want to accept change and to also embrace change, as I use technology in the classroom and in my everyday life. I like this quote that I had on my board at school.

"Disconnecting from change does not recapture the past. It loses the future."
Kathleen Norris

I have to admit that I was a little sad as I listened to this news report and I realized that newspapers are on the way out. I am the first to admit that I now go online each morning and peruse at least three newspapers. Many of our young people have rarely, if ever, read a newspaper in the print form. But wait, there are things that an online newspaper cannot provide! I feel these things will be missed:

What will we use to start our fires? Newspapers have provided country boys with free kindling for years. E-news does not provide this dual use.

The crinkle of the pages of the newspaper being turned at the Saturday breakfast table. Will our children have memories of the the computer booting up?

Memories of fighting over the "funnies." You can't separate sections of the electronic news.

The newspaper that is left at the coffee shop or restaurant for others to read. You won't leave your laptop to share the news with others.
Rolling up the newspaper, placing it strategically in your back pocket, and going to the bathroom. Much of the news has been read by Kevin Weaver while sitting alone on the porcelain throne. I can honestly say that I have never taken my laptop to the toilet.

Holidays at G-G's house (my mom) as my two brother-in-law coaches and I fought over the sports page. To the winner would go the spoils, and to the loser, the sale ads. Guess those fights will soon be over.
The all-important paper-boys (speaking as a former paper deliverer) have all but vanished. Not quite the same "zing" in a double click as in hearing that paper bundle hit your front porch (or roof top - whoops!).

Evolution is defined as "a process of change in a certain direction." I might not always like the direction, but if I want to be a valid, functioning part of this ever changing world, I must embrace and connect to it.

Energizers

2009-03-01T16:07:00.000-08:00

My wife, Chris, used to jokingly call me the "Energizer Bunny," because before I was diagnosed with cancer, I could hardly sit still. From vaccuming the carpet to washing the laundry to mowing the lawn, she would say that I made her tired and she could never seem to keep up with me. It think it's just my personality to constantly be busy - but an energizer?

A study from of the University of Virginia found that "someone who is energizing elevates the performance of other people around them." So exactly what does it mean to be an energizer? I don't think you can "google" it, but I know the traits of the people I have known that have elevated my performance.

First, it might help us to understand what an energizer is not:

It is not a person who is a cheerleader, full of false enthusiasm.

An energizer is not a wild-eyed optimist.
Any particular personality type.

So what is an energizer? An energizer is a person who brings out the best in others by investing in them. How? By making sure the person that they are with feels that he or she is the most important person in the world. For example, if you are an energizer and a person comes to talk to you, then you devote your undivided attention to that person with eye contact and a conversation filled with questions and interaction.

An energizer can be a shy person, but he or she focuses on possibilities, not restraints. Negative comments and put-downs are not a part of the energizer's vocabulary. When you walk away from an energizer, you are glad you had time with them and in some way, he or she makes you proud of who you are and what you do. An energizer genuinely cares for others.
23 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, Col 3:23 (NKJV)

I am learning that I have a long way to go. I need to improve - first at home, and then at school & church!

REJECTED!!

2009-02-03T03:36:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had something happen that should really make you angry, but it is just so bizarre that it is funny? I had one of those moments at ..................................................THE

That's right, sing it with me, "Working at the car wash, .......whoa, whoa, whoa..............

My car wash story goes like this. We were going to Plano last Saturday, so Chris could pick out her desk for her office at the new Honey Grove High School. We were going through McKinney and we decided to pull through the car wash, for a quick $4.95, exterior wash. We live on some "rustic" roads, so our black car was brown at this point. The car wash line was long on this beautiful day, as many patrons were waiting for their chance to be clean. I waited patiently with my five dollar bill in hand, and even planned on telling the lucky worker to keep the change. After about 20 minutes, the car wash employee finally walked toward our car and said, "Sorry, man, we can't wash your car today. It's too dirty."

I quickly looked around because I knew there were two options. We were either on Candid Camera, or one of my coaching buddies was sitting inside the car wash building and had paid this young man more than a nickel tip to tell me my car was too dirty for the car wash. Well, I didn't see any cameras and the young man seemed quite solemn. You see, at this car wash, it is automatic. There's really not much manual labor involved for the wash I was asking for. I just pull through and sit in my car while machines do all the washing. Here is a picture of the car. Let me add, we had not been 4-wheeling, and our car has been dirtier.

Thinking I had possibly mis-heard this young man, I replied, "You are kidding, aren't you?" The employee answered, "I wish I was." Chris was outraged and my daughter, Kati, was livid. We continued to sit there with my mouths open and waiting for the punch line. It occurred to me that we were melded into the line of hopeful, and somewhat impatient, drivers, so I asked the employee, "So how are we were going to get out of this line of cars?" The young, master -judger of filth, said he would ask people to back up and he would help us. So he felt very sure it would be an easier task to move 15 cars out of the way with hardly a 3-foot lee-way than to allow our car to go through the wash! I then asked why they didn't tell us about the "too dirty" problem when we entered this line appoximately 25 minutes ago. He answered, "That probably would have been a better way to do this." Wow! Rejected at a car wash.
I am so glad that this is a story that is strange & humorous, but doesn't match the other places I could have been rejected in my life's journey.

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for not making the choice of saying, "That oldest boy of ours just requires too much time and effort." "He's just too needy!"
I appreciate Mrs. Tuttle, my 1st grade teacher, who continued to check the box on report cards.......*Talks too much.........but never stopped teaching me.
I never thought I would say this, "Thank you, Coach Jones, for believing in me and whipping my hind-end when I needed it." You never said I was "too mischievious."
Ever since I was diagnosed with cancer, my friend and principal, Jeff Clark, has shown grace to a teacher/coach, by allowing him to try to do his job, even though he is dealing with disease and treatment. Not once have I been told that I was too sick.
Do you know that the most beautiful woman in the world married me? Why, you ask. I truly do not know. I have never been too poor, ugly, immature, etc.... Thank you, Chris. You are truly my best friend, and I adore you.
But the thing that I will never comprehend is that the son of God, Jesus Christ, died for me. I was not too dirty! I did not have to clean up, straighten up, or fix-up. While I was covered in dirt, Christ died for me.

8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 (NKJV)

It Is Good!

2009-02-01T11:30:00.000-08:00

The word "Christian" is a great noun, but it can cause problems when we use it as an adjective. I am not an English teacher, nor a son of an English teacher, but my best friend, Chris, is an English major and she proofs all of my ramblings. I think I remember that a noun is a person, place, or thing. And an adjective describes. But, since Chris corrects for me, you will never know if I was right or wrong! Anyway...a Christian is a believer or a disciple (learning follower) of Jesus Christ. The word Christian is a type of person, thus a noun.

An adjective is a term used to show a quality of a noun or the quantity of something that it might possess. In other words, if we attach "Christian" as an adjective to a noun, then we are a labeling this person, place, or thing as possessing Christian qualities. Rob Bell, an author and pastor, while I do not agree with everything he believes, writes about this in his book, Velvet Elvis. So who decides if music is "Christian?" Wal-Mart employees, as they stock CD's? Who decides if a television show is "Christian?" Direct TV or perhaps the networks? I am a Christian, and God does speak to me and teach me through some bizarre circumstances and unusual avenues, that others might not label as Christian. All of this foreward is to begin to explain a recent "Amen" experience.

Chris and I love to watch the television show, The Dog Whisperer.

I do not know if Cesar Millan is a Christian. I know his show would not be considered a "Christian" show, but it is entertaining and many times educational. As Cesar likes to say, he trains people and rehabilitates dogs. I think that Chris, with her counseling background, is intrigued with the way that the dogs usually display the problems and shortcomings of the owners. I just enjoy watching the dogs try to bite him!

Last week, Cesar was at a monestary in Washington D.C., that is in a bad part of town. The priests had obtained a German Shepherd to help them protect their property, but the dog, Jerry, was out of control and violent. Cesar was called to the scene. He then began to teach a lesson of balance to the priests. He described the spiritual world and the earthly world. Cesar said that his grandfather taught him two important lessons. First, do not go against nature. Do not try to humanize a dog. A dog is a part of the "earth world." And the second lesson was that activities require balance. A dog becomes a reflection of you and the balance that you have in your life.

One priest then asked, "Why did we end up with a dog that requires so much?" Cesar Millan answered the priests by saying, "God does not give us what we want. He always will give us what we need to help us grow." Yes, Cesar, I agree! Isn't it awesome to hear God speak through a venue that we don't expect? A scripture that was shared today in worship agrees with the Dog Whisperer.

19 And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. 20 Now to our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Phil 4:19-20 (NKJV)

Why do I have cancer? Why not? C.S. Lewis says, "Do not ask why the righteous suffer, ask why not? We are the ones who should be able to handle it." Thank you, Cesar, for reminding me (even through a show that is not labeled "Christian") that God is more worried about my character than my comfort. The praise be to God!

It Takes A Team!

2009-01-28T02:33:00.000-08:00

Marathon running, like mountain climbing, is not for the faint of heart. Of course, that hasn't stopped people from climbing mountains or running marathons. While parts of both of these endeavors, (serious, determined effort), involve individual passion and committement, the success usually is determined by the team. I learned this lesson of survival in my scuba-training, as we were taught to "never dive alone!"

Mount Everest has claimed many lives and they say that there are over 120 bodies still on the mountain today. In 1935, climbers found the lone body of Maurice Wilson, an Englishman who had sneaked into Tibet and tried to climb the mountain secretly without government approval. He hired only three porters and as they approached the North Col, those men refused to go any farther with him. Wilson decided to go alone and that decision killed him.

John Maxwell, writes, in his book, The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork, that you can never build a team during a crisis. The team needs to be assembled and ready to help when the crisis or problems begin. Last Sunday, I had a wonderful reminder that I am not alone.
Chris and I are a part of the greatest Bible study class in the world. That's right, you heard it hear first. They have allowed me to teach and study God's Word with them for the last four years. We have struggled with the name of this group because we don't fit into a proper normal category. This group consists of all ages, some couples, some half-couples, and a diversified group from many walks of life. We jokingly call ourselves the Misfits, and one of our ministers, Rex Jackson, agrees with this name. (Ha!)
Last Sunday, I was sitting and enjoying a special time of worship. We had participated in singing a couple of my favorite worship songs and my favorite hymn, (a separate blog), when our pastor, Lyn Holly announced that we would have a special presentation. NO! Not now! I quickly perused the bulletin, and there it was, a special presentation. That settles it, if it is in the order of worship, we have to do it and, of course, if it is not in the bulletin, we can't. It's the Baptist Way! Would this be for a SS pin and years of unbroken attendance? Perhaps a donation for the clothes closet? Then, Mike Jones, a special friend and fellow misfit walked to the front. Misfits rose from their seats to come join Mike at the front of the church. Don Winkler, another special friend, had made a beautiful wooden shadow box and the class had signed and writtten notes of encouragement on my race shirt that I had worn on my first marathon. Yes, tears soon followed.
I have pre-op work on Tuesday, 2/3. On Wednesday, I will have day surgery to have a double mediport implanted. I will begin chemotherapy the next week and will continue this treatment through June. On my mind right now, is a group of young men I am honored to coach, who depend on me as we try to obtain a play-off spot in a very tough district. During this time I do not know what to expect. But I have been reminded that I am not alone! My team has been prepared ahead of me. I promise to tell this group of prayer warriors and friends, (the Misfits), what I need and how they can help during the months ahead.
The Race of Faith
1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, Heb 12:1-2 (NKJV)
Thank you for the reminder, my friends. Chris and I love you more than you know. This "season" will be over soon and I look forward to the day that I will lead this group again. Keep praying and keep cheering! I will finish!

Your Life Is An Occasion, Rise To It!

2009-01-14T15:34:00.000-08:00

Our friend, Kathy Clark, bought us a decorative plate that we have in our kitchen, near our coffee pot. I read it each morning, usually as I wait patiently for the first cup. The plate has written on it:

"If You Can Walk, You Can Dance! If You Can Talk, You Can Sing

This is the way that I want to live my life. Jesus said He came to give us a life of joy! Can I live with the courage to be filled with this joy that I was given

C.S Lewis said, "Joy is the serious business of heaven." The apostle Paul wrote, "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say rejoice." Every breath is a gift from heaven. I will visit with you later about some of the things we celebrate as a family, because the Bible is filled with holidays, "holy days," that were times of joyful celebration. Instead, I would like to let my daughter, Kati, share with you her writing skills, as she describes a movie that made a profound impact on my family and me.

Kati wrote the following paper this fall for her English class. After I read it, I asked her for a copy of it because it not only describes the movie and the main character, but she does an excellent job of describing what the movie taught me. Enjoy!

“Thirty-Seven Seconds”

“We breathe. We pulse. We regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. Thirty-seven seconds well spent.” These are the words of one of the greatest fictional characters to whom I have ever been introduced. This man recognized that each second of waiting was not meant to be spent in vain. To him, each moment served an important purpose to the rest of his life. Yes, this man made sure his life was purposeful and different than anyone else’s around him. It is such an admirable aspiration to decide to live a stress free life and know it isn’t solely about you. Although fictional, this person takes up that challenge and can truthfully say he lives out both these ideals. His name is Mr. Magorium from the movie Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. When I first saw this movie, I was enchanted, inspired. “I want to step into his shoes even if it’s just for a day,” I thought to myself. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be Mr. Magorium?

You see, Mr. Magorium runs a magical toy store and has fun with his life. I know many of you are thinking that this thought is simply absurd, positively juvenile, but I honestly would love this type of life. Mr. Magorium doesn’t have a simple and worry-free daily routine either. He just chooses to live that way. Daily, he makes the choice to smile and not fret about every little detail. I, like many others I know, cultivate a crop of ulcers in my stomach when inevitably a minor part of the puzzle ceases to fit into place. Instead of logically trying to fix the puzzle piece, I throw my hand to my forehead palm outward and cry, “What ever shall I do?” Mr. Magorium realizes that this is no way to live. He enjoys the children running through his emporium. He enjoys watching their wide eyes sparkle in awe as the big book makes toys come to life. He enjoys the quizzical looks on the parents’ faces as the store lives and breathes. While many would pass by these small details without another glance, Magorium stops and bathes in the moment, soaking up all its beauty.

That’s just the beginning of the wonder. Magorium is a 243-year old man who desires to make every person smile. Most old men I know are choleric and only concerned with themselves. In contrast, Mr. Magorium is certain of and lives his purpose, and even though to some it might seem insignificant, he accepts his calling and finds it rich. Many self-centered people would refuse to accept this seemingly insignificant role because it means sacrificing self to others. In today’s society, it is always about me, me, me. Insightfully, Mr. Magorium chooses to live for everyone else. He concerns himself with Mahoney, Eric, Bellini, the mutant, the children in the toy store, etc. Even as his last pair of shoes wears out, along with his life, Magorium never stops smiling, proving that nothing is ever about him. Just stop and imagine how different the world would be if no one was selfish.

Magorium’s attitude is so amazing. I’ve never known anyone with this kind of outlook on life. His gift to humanity can be summed up in his response to self-doubting Mahoney’s questioning statement, “There are probably a million uses for this block of wood, but I don’t know what to do with it.” Magorium simply replies, “Yes, there are probably a million uses for the block of wood, but just think what it could accomplish if someone just believed in it.” Magorium helps others to believe in themselves. He is the type of person that sparks a smile. He is the type of person that finds purpose in helping others find theirs. He is the type of person that leaves a lasting legacy—the type of person I’d like to be. I want to lead a life seeing the good in people. Helping others without a thought for myself. Living in wonder and in enjoyment, touching the lives of those around me. In each moment, I want to breathe, pulse, and regenerate. I want my heart to beat, my mind to create, and my soul to ingest. I want my thirty-seven seconds to be well spent.

Thank you, Kati! I want my time to be well spent also!

Home Alone : All Dressed Up & No Way To Go!

2009-01-05T18:26:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my world of change. I am trying to begin the transition back into the real world...but what does that mean? Actually, it means I am struggling with my return to the real world in many ways.

Many people have "stood in the gap" for me as I have begun this journey - through surgery, through treatment. Now I am finding out what I can really do. My principal and close friend, Jeff Clark, is so patient with me as he helps me find a new role at the school. Ruth Ann Jones, a collegue and friend, has taken over the responsibility of teaching my three geometry classes. My assistant coach and former player, Gabe Lane, is incredible as he has filled (and continues to fill) my shoes. He now is working with me as I rediscover the art of coaching and connecting with students. I have forced our girls coach, Kathy Clark, to become a "techie", learning to replace video cameras and dubbing tapes to DVD's for me, so I could keep stats updated and watch our games. Steve Arthur, a dear friend, has taught, and continues to teach, our SS class. He has been such a blessing to this special group of friends as I have healed. But the one person who has picked up the slack most of all is my beautiful wife, Chris, as she has taken over all the little jobs, been my caregiver, continued to meet the needs of our students, as the HS counselor, and still maintained her 4.0 GPA as a graduate student.

Chris' parents, Danny and Zora, who I have already written about, brought their RV and stayed with us during the toughest, uncertain times. About a week and a half ago they needed to travel back to their home and business. They wanted to leave their RV to come back when I started chemotherapy and when our daughter, Callie, will be having knee surgery (a whole separate blog), so they drove my truck home. [Yes-I AM beginning to get to the meat of this blog - All Dressed Up and No Way to Go!] Over the holiays, Chris and I bought new matresses for Derick, our son, and Callie, so last week we needed a truck to transport. We borrowed Coach Lane's truck and picked up the matresses. Before our game last Saturday, Gabe gave Chris my keys back and Chris gave Gabe his truck keys.

Sunday morning came. I was pretty sore and tired from coaching on Saturday night. Chris and I enjoyed a beautiful Sunday morning, as we sipped coffee and she played through the music for Sunday morning worship. We decided that it would be best for Chris and Kati, our oldest daughter, to go to Sunday School and worship practice and I would bring our youngest daughter, Callie, to worship with me in our vehicle. Around 9:15, Chris and Kati left and we were home alone.

The wonderful Sunday morning continued. Callie and I ate breakfast and I built a fire so we would have hot coals for us when we would return home. Callie bounded upstairs to finish getting ready and I decided to start the car, so it would be warm. Hm...That's funny - no keys in my briefcase or on the catch-all desk. Where are the keys? Maybe in the car or on the key holder. No. No keys. (Ah-Ha moment) I wonder, would Chris possibly have both sets in her purse?

Have you ever tried to contact people at church? It doesn't work. I knew Chris would be worried sick, so I left messages with as many people as I could, hoping she would realize why I wasn't sitting beside her on the front pew. Later, I found out Chris didn't hear much of the sermon that morning (sorry, Brother Lyn) - the keys fell out of her purse during the service!

So - what to do? Callie and I climbed back into "comfortable clothes" and had a good laugh. Callie cleaned her room - I thought that would replace worship in a special kind of way - HA. I began preparing lunch and listened to music. Yes, we were "Home Alone." Dressed up with no way to go! Oh well, maybe next Sunday!

These Are A Few!

2008-12-29T12:46:00.000-08:00

In a previous post I discussed the phases of a marathon-excitement, drudgery (association & disassociation), and finishing. During the first drudgery part, you are taught to associate with the run by monitoring your pace, concentrating on your breathing, speaking to the crowd, etc. Past this comes a time of pain, a time when you realize you so far from the finish that you become mechanical, as you just will your feet to keep moving as pistons. During this part of the race, you are taught to disassociate with the experience. You might do this with music, a prayer wrist band, talking to yourself, or even counting your steps with a silly jingle. Anything to make the time pass and to focus on something different. Today I focused on something completely different between treatments.

My daughter, Kati, and my wife, Chris, love musicals. Some of their favorites are, "Oklahoma," "My Fair Lady," "The King and I," and "Mary Poppins." But as I was perusing the channels last night, as men do, I saw playing on television possibly their favorite musical, "The Sound of Music." I watched long enough to hear the song, "These Are a Few of My Favorite Things." I was inspired. I began to think of some of my favorite things and then the tune was stuck in my head. I grabbed a pencil and paper and began to write my own version. You CANNOT read my song! You must sing it! Also, to help this experience, you must envision me standing on our fireplace ledge in boxers, no shirt, and a shaved chest, singing this to my family. That, my friends, is to forget your pain in a new experience. Sing along with me and learn of some of my favorite things:

Steaming hot coffee and freshly mowed grass.

Fluffy bed pillows and storms as they pass.

Hummingbirds on our feeders with fast flapping wings.

These are a few of my favorite things.

Reading a novel and long morning runs.

Basketball games and crosswords just for fun.

Listening to Chris whenever she sings.

These are a few of my favorite things.

State Tournament tickets and friends with loud laughter.

Homeade oatmeal cookies and milk soon thereafter.

Christmas tree lights and the joy that they bring.

These are a few of my favorite things.

When the game's lost

When the pain stings

When I'm feeling sad.

I simply remember my favorite things,

and then I don't feel so bad.

(Repeat all verses)

I'm not certain, but I feel some of you were not singing. Try again, and sing loudly! Okay forget the part about me in my boxers and you will enjoy the song more. Life is good and God has blessed us all with little "favorite" things to enjoy. Why? Because He loves as His children and wants us to have favorite things, to live abundantly in His joy.

Jesus said, 9 "I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 10:9-10 (NKJV)

10 "If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. 11 "These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. John 15:10-11 (NKJV)

Shenandoah Sunday! (Worship)

2008-12-22T17:54:00.000-08:00

The last month and a half has been filled with worship. I have so much still to learn, but I do know that I was made to worship my God. Many of us just think of "worship" as what we do on Sunday morning, all together, as we sing, praise, and remember our God. If that is all we see of worship, we are missing so much of what God has made us for.

What is worship? I feel the most important thing we can recognize with worship is that we do not have to beg for God to appear. God is everywhere. David understood this:

7 Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? 8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. 9 If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 10 Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me. Psalms 139:7-10 (NKJV)

Jesus taught this also:

21 Jesus said to her, "Woman, believe Me, the hour is coming when you will neither on this mountain, nor in Jerusalem, worship the Father. 22 "You worship what you do not know; we know what we worship, for salvation is of the Jews. 23 "But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. 24 "God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth." John 4:21-24 (NKJV)

Also Psalm 50:12 ,"The world is mine," declares the Lord, "and all that is in it." When we get a grasp on the ways we have made God small, decided to label things as good or bad, and even put limitations on where we feel we can acknowledge God's presence. Mark Buchanan in his book "Your God is Too Safe" calls this "practicing the presence of God." There is true joy in the Christian life as we learn to worship God in each moment.

I have had some special worship times in the last few weeks in some truly unbelievable places:

Holding Chris' hand in a hospital bed and praising God as we asked for grace for 1 more day
Watching my grandson climb over all obstacles to sit in Pops' lap to read cards.
Sitting on our bed with Kathy Clark on a Sunday, questioning God and then praising Him.
Listening to Chris Tomlin sing "All the Way My Savior Leads Me" and remembering He is.

Have you ever seen the movie "Shenandoah?" If not, you need to watch it. Throughout the movie you see the main character, played by James Stewart, struggle with his concept of God and a God's role in his life. In a scene at the end of the movie you see a reunion with a lost son in their local church during "worship service." You finally see this man worship God. This last Sunday, December 21st, Chris and I were able to attend worship with our church family. I have missed my brothers and sisters so much. Worship time together was incredible. I joined my weakened voice with the voices of those who have been praying for and ministering to me and my family to sing, "Here I Am To Worship." Worship does not have to happen at church from 11:00 to 11:59 (I am Baptist and worship stops before noon-HA), BUT IT DID!

Thank you, God, for my church family. Thank you for the strength to be with them for a short while. Thank you for the people (Steve & Lynn Arthur, Rex Jackson) who have stood in the gap for Chris and I during this time. Thank you for a body of believers who pray and love.

Just Some "Facts!"

2008-12-21T02:02:00.000-08:00

I wanted to spend a few moments just to share a few "facts" with everyone. One of the things I have wanted the "blog" to be is a place to keep my friends and loved ones informed of what is happening with treatment and how we are doing. I never realized what a job that is, so I will try to make sure that not all of my posts are about "lessons" I am learning or my thoughts, but occasional medical and physical updates.

This last Friday, December 19th, Chris and I went to my 7th radiation treatment in the morning, and then I had lab work and a doctor appointment in the afternoon. The radiation is progressing normally?! I have a few side effects but my radiation doctor is being aggressive, which is what we wanted, and using the maximum amount. They are even opening the clinic for us on the Sunday after Christmas, so I will not have as many gaps in treatment. The radiation plan is for five weeks or 25 days, which means radiation should end approximately Jan. 19th.

My blood work and tests still show no other signs of cancer, other than the tumor we are dealing with on my spine. They will continue to monitor as they treat and I am sure that I will be checked for the rest of my life. The cancer "team" did meet and decided to begin chemotherapy (drug therapy) along with the radiation. They had actually started me on this oral administration last week. This drug should help shrink the tumor and hopefully will help prevent any cancer cells from leaking to other parts of my body. On approximately Jan. 19th, when I finish radiation, I will begin a more aggressive chemotherapy. At this time it looks like this will be in the form of an IV that I will take for four sessions over a 4-week period. Of course, all of this is depending on how things progress and if they need to they will change this to a port for the chemotherapy and adjust the type of medicine needed, they will do so.

I am so thankful for the doctors being aggressive and proactive. I feel this will be an important part of finishing this race. There is still quite a bit of pain and it is really hard to be "comfortable." Each treatment has its' own special side effects, but the discomforts are worth the healing. (Such as being on the computer at 3:00 am) Ha!

I hope to begin to return to my "normal" life soon, in an adjusted way. I don't even know what that means yet, but I must patiently keep allowing myself to be treated by God-given doctors, loved by God-filled family and friends, and healed by a loving God, who has a plan for me.

Sgt. Friday-----out!

The Drudgery of the Race

2008-12-18T10:16:00.000-08:00

(Me, before the start of 2006 Whiterock Marathon)

I have to believe that I was being prepared for this new race for a couple of years. There are questions people ask when they hear you have run marathons and I will try to answer those first:
1) Have you always loved running? No. Running is a tough discipline, but I do enjoy the quiet time and the feeling of accomplishment.
2) Do you get a "runner's high?" I have never felt a runner's high! Maybe I did something wrong. Running that far still hurts and I still have to will myself to run.
3) Why? I remember telling Chris that I wanted to run a marathon about 3 years ago. I made her promise not to tell anyone, because I had never run over 7 miles. I was scared to let others know because it sounded so bizarre.

The Phases of a Marathon

Excitement- The first part of the race is pure euphoria. Everyone is excited. You see and hear many things - some that are hard to describe - confetti, balloons, tv cameras, jet fly-overs, the National Anthem, more runners than you have ever imagined. And now for the strange. I have seen Mickey Mouse, the Blues Brothers (with briefcases), dragons, Uncle Sam, and even Sponge Bob. This excitement phase of the race, I think, is very similar to what I felt through the surgery and initial diagnosis of my illness. Everyone is there and it is hard to believe that you will finish and defeat the opponent. You know what is ahead, but all of the distractions push the coming pain and struggles far from you.

1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith Heb 12:1-2 (NKJV)

So how do you get "endurance?"
The Drudgery - It is hard to describe when the next phase begins, but you are aware of the change. The crowds begin to thin and soon the sounds of the crowd and the start line are replaced by the breathing of the runners around you and your shoes on the pavement. For the first time your brain begins to tell you that you have many miles of this drudgery ahead.
2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing James 1:2-4 (NKJV)
My training for this phase of the race has taught me to associate with the run. In the next phase, during the pain or the wall, you are taught to disassociate or to remove yourself from the pain with distractions. So how do you associate with the run? You concentrate on your breathing, your heart rate, your pace. You remind yourself of the long runs that you have accomplished and focus on the distance behind you, not ahead. You find the smiling faces, even if they are the policemen keeping traffic back. You smile and thank them.
I do know that I am in the drudgery phase of my race with cancer at this time. The drive for radiation is long and with my 6th day behind me, I now have 19 more days. The pain from the tumor is still there and I want the race to stop..............but I WILL NOT! God has allowed this race for a reason and I will not waste my suffering. I must associate with the drudgery.

I choose to focus on the smiling faces that are still cheering. I choose not to dwell on the pain that still exists but to remember the healing that God has already allowed. I will count my blessings as I wait for my treatment and open the door for those who are too weak to even open the door to the Cancer Center. I will praise my God for seeing me worthy of this test, this trial. I will allow Him to complete His promise in me.

Who Am I?

2008-12-13T18:57:00.000-08:00

(I'm the one in the middle, just finished 3rd marathon, & not a good advertisement for running!

)

It has been a long day! I am realizing that much of my life I have based my worth on what I am doing or what I have done. In my chosen occupation I am even called by what I do, as my players and students call me, Coach Weaver, and it still thrills me when I hear "Coach" with my name. But is that who I am? I love to be with my family, even when shopping. I can always find a book & a quiet place even in the mall. The girls went shopping today, and I was in a lot of pain and slept most of the day. If I am not with my family, I love to have a productive day of yardwork, laundry, or even cleaning house. Today I did nothing to really help anyone! Who am I?

God is teaching me who I am and what honors him the most. I just sent a depressing e-mail to a friend, sorry Steve. I am not a good napper, much less a good patient. But God's strength is perfect, when?

8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor 12:8-10 (NKJV)

I will share later how I have allowed my "religion" to affect my relationship with Christ, but for now I must admit that I need to let this "race with cancer" teach me that:

I am a child of God.
God loves me.
I am forgiven, when I confess.
No pain, difficulty, sorrow, or suffering can affect this relationship.
My value to Christ is not based on what I have done today, yesterday, or tomorrow.
The miracle is in the "hope" not the "healing."
I refuse to be depressed by my lack of accomplishments while I heal.
When I feel weakest, then Christ in me is strong.

A Sneeze, Why not?

2008-12-12T18:48:00.000-08:00

I never thought I would start a story with a picture of "Sneezy", but my story certainly be rather dull to some of the things we read in God's Word. You know the stories, but I ask why? Why a burning bush that would not stop burning? Why a manger? A donkey (actually an ass) that talks? Swallowed by a large fish and then regurgitated!

You see, I was going for a run about 6 weeks ago now, and I leaned over to tie my shoes and sneezed. It then felt as if someone had hit me with a lead pipe that carried an electrical current. I was in my classroom and literally sat down from the pain. After a couple of weeks of pain and being treated for a pulled muscle, my chiropractor did an x-ray and decided he didn't like the looks of my 4th vertebrae, which led to an MRI, to a tumor being discovered, and you know the rest. But it started with a SNEEZE! Why not a sharp pain while lifting weights or at the end of a 20 -mile run? I think because God enjoys being God! Who else can receive the glory in a sneeze, but God!

The story of Moses and the burning bush was a life changing event for Moses and the Israelites, but what if he would not have "turned aside?" In our microwave soceity, I wonder how many things we miss because of our schedules and deadlines. This illness has caused Chris and I to pray more, to be quiet and listen for God. I know that many of you are behind on my story. The last two days have been action packed. In my last update I told you that I would not begin radiation until January 5th. On that day, Wednesday,while elated at the news of the negative
tests, I was very concerned about the delay in treatment. I am still in a lot of pain, but I have been thinking it was all surgery pain. Late that night I told Chris that my pain was deep in my spine just like before they found the tumor. So Chris began to pray!

On Thursday we traveled back to McKinney Regional Cancer Center, where the first thing was an iodine injection and a CAT scan on my skull. Moses was in the back of the desert and Chris chose to leave the comfortable waiting room to sit in a chair in the hallway. Accident or lucky? I think not! While I was in the testing room, Chris saw the radiation oncologist and they began to discuss my treatment and then he said I will see Kevin on Monday for radiation. Chris reminded him that the date had been changed to January 5th. He was shocked and said he wanted me to begin radiation immediately. I walked out of a test, which by the way, was also negative, to find out that I was beginning radiation in ten minutes.

1 Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian. And he led the flock to the back of the desert, and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. 2 And the Angel of the LORD appeared to him in a flame of fire from the midst of a bush. So he looked, and behold, the bush was burning with fire, but the bush was not consumed. 3 Then Moses said, "I will now turn aside and see this great sight, why the bush does not burn." 4 So when the LORD saw that he turned aside to look, God called to him from the midst of the bush Ex 3:1-4 (NKJV)

Moses was in the "back of the desert", which reminds me that God is everywhere. Moses chose to "turn aside", which reminds me to be aware. God is working, but might we miss out on things when we are not aware of God in our lives. Did you notice in v. 4 the scriptures say that God spoke when Moses chose to turn aside? I know my prayer life has increased; I want to get better at seeing God. Where will God want to meet with me tomorrow?

I had my second radiation treatment today. I met with my spinal surgeon yesterday and he said everything looks great from the surgery. Pray that the radiation combined with the steroids will reduce the tumor. The radiation oncologist is convinced that the pain is from the tumor. Pray for our strength and courage as we run daily. Pray that we will slow down and keep seeing with God's eyes.

Every moment of my life, not just my quiet time, prayer time, or church, is a chance to have an encounter with my God.

Earth's crammed with Heaven,

and every common bush, afire with God,

but only he who sees takes off his shoes--

the rest sit around it and pluck blackberries.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

One Leper Returning!

2008-12-10T18:06:00.000-08:00

I have no pictures or graphics for this blog. This is a letter of praise to my God. Tonight I bow at the feet of my Savior to say, "Thank you." Thank you for a loving family, praying friends, and for hearing & answering prayers.

Martin Luther described worship as "one leper returning." Read this scripture and you will see where he derived this definition:
11 Now it happened as He went to Jerusalem that He passed through the midst of Samaria and Galilee. 12 Then as He entered a certain village, there met Him ten men who were lepers, who stood afar off. 13 And they lifted up their voices and said, "Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!" 14 So when He saw them, He said to them, "Go, show yourselves to the priests." And so it was that as they went, they were cleansed. 15 And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, returned, and with a loud voice glorified God, 16 and fell down on his face at His feet, giving Him thanks. And he was a Samaritan. 17 So Jesus answered and said, "Were there not ten cleansed? But where are the nine? 18 "Were there not any found who returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?" 19 And He said to him, "Arise, go your way. Your faith has made you well."
Luke 17:11-19 (NKJV)

Today Chris and I heard some great news and we have felt God's Spirit in answered prayers. Today we were told that all tests so far have proven negative for myloma. My cancer will be treated as a solitary plasmacytoma. Statistics (not that I trust them) say that this cancer is only found 5-10% of the time before it has progressed into myloma. I still have some more tests ahead and treatment will now begin January 5th, but they can find no other lesions. The treatment plan is for radiation and no chemotherapy. Isn't it amazing that we pray for healing, receive it, and then can have the tendency to just go on with our lives. Praise to our God! I will be a thankful child.

In the book of Romans there are scriptures that have always bothered me a little bit. In Romans chapter 1, there are three verses that say 'God gave them up" or "God gave up on them," (verses 24, 26, & 28) What would cause this type of reaction from God. In the same chapter, you see the reason in an earlier verse:
21 because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful,
Romans 1:21 (NKJV)
Please celebrate with us! A milemarker has been passed!
There is still a race to run, but our Father continues to meet our needs and show his power and love for us.

Magnify!

2008-12-09T13:41:00.000-08:00

(in the picture at left)

Ryland, my grandon & I, at the hospital, reading cards. (I am the one with the tubes looking at pictures & he is the one reading.
This is the only hospital picture you will see and it is posted so you can meet Ryland!

Magnify

My father always used to say to me, "To be so smart at schoolwork, you really do some dumb stuff." As I think back to some of the things I did, while growing up, I realize he was right. When I was about 6 years old, I had some really cool binoculars. Did you know that if you look through the lenses backwards that everything looks far away? I had so much fun running and chasing my sister this way. There is a photo of me with circular bruises around my eyes when I ran into the wall, but it looked so far away!

Later I was given my first magnifying glass. This may be a boy thing, but I absolutely spent hours looking at things through this fascinating device. Then I learned what would happen if you would focus the rays of the sun throught the glass. Shazam!! Smoke and then fire! So I wonder how hot this gets? Yes, you got it, in about 5 minutes later my mom was applying burn gel to my leg.

Magnify! This word has been impressed upon me throughout this race.

19 For I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayer and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, 20 according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death. Phil 1:19-20 (NKJV)

The love of my Savior shines most brightly when treasured above above health and wealth. Fleeing and avoiding pain, suffering, and even death is the shortest path to a life of waste. I will not waste my life. The scripture above speaks my heart. I will not be ashamed and I will magnify Christ in my body. (I know you saw that BODY in that hospital picture!)

27 Let them shout for joy and be glad, Who favor my righteous cause; And let them say continually, "Let the LORD be magnified, Psalms 35:27 (NKJV)

I'm afraid many Christians waste their lives by trying to escape the cost of love. And the cost of love is the suffering of our Savior. I will magnify the Lord!

What Did Jesus Look Like

2008-12-08T06:36:00.000-08:00

In the last few weeks, I have spent a lot of time in hospital rooms and in the bed at home. For the first time I have become acquainted with daytime television. May I say, "YUCK!" One thing I have learned from the commercials is that we, as Americans, are very concerned with our looks. It also seems, no matter the condition of the economy, that there must be a lot of money spent on changing and protecting our appearance.

So my question is, "What did Jesus look like when he was living as a man?" Not that it matters to me, but I think we do get images in our mind.

My grandmother, Ma-Ma, had this picture on one of her walls. It's a neat picture but I don't think it captures reality. Jesus was a carpenter. He was a construction worker. There were no power tools, so I feel that he was muscular and had callused, tough hands. I am amazed at most of the paintings and potraits that have been made of the son of God. Did your parents have one of the "big" coffee table Bibles? (Remember the one of Adam& Eve running from the garden?) We did and I found many of those potraits on the computer this morning while I reminisced of the days of opening that huge Bible and not reading, but finding all of the pictures. (and they were in COLOR!!)

May I vent before I get to the point of this blog? When did we make Jesus blue-eyed? Do we really believe he had to have had long, flowing, "feathered" hair? Why do most of the potraits make me think that I would not want Jesus' locker next to mine in athletics? Maybe some people confused the fact that Jesus was from Nazarene, but he was not a Nazarite! Nazarites took a vow to not cut hair or drink alcohol. Jesus was a homeless man, who did not even have enough money to pay his taxes. I really doubt he had color-coordinated, layered robes with matching open toed sandals.

The truth is we do not know what Jesus looked like. There is not enough historical evidence and the only scripture reference I could find says:
He has no form or comeliness; And when we see Him, There is no beauty that we should desire Him.
Isaiah 53:2 (NKJV)

What Jesus looked like is not important! What Jesus did is important!!
The last two weeks I have SEEN what Jesus looks like! No,this is not the morphine talking! Yes, I have seen Jesus!

I have seen Jesus.......................in my family & through my friends!
Jesus fixed our bedroom door. (Ryan )
Jesus kissed my cheek & told me to be strong (my Dad)
Jesus brought us a Thanksgiving turkey. (Jim)
Jesus makes sure I am not alone in my room (Kati, Callie, Derick)
Jesus keeps my family going by doing the everyday, unseen stuff. (Gammy & PawPaw)
Jesus keeps feeding my family. (SS class, HGHS faculty)
Jesus calls me daily! (my friends & fellow coaches)
Jesus showed up yesterday, raked leaves & cleaned our yard (Scottie, Michael, Dustin, & kids)
Jesus holds me at night when it is dark! (Chris, my best friend!)
.........................................................................................................................
I could write all day and I would still miss someone, but the point is made. What does Jesus look like.....................my friends and family!

Thank you! I continue to see Jesus daily! I will finish because of YOU!!!

"Laughter is the Best Medicine"

2008-12-06T05:45:00.000-08:00

I read a book several years ago, "The Humor of Christ." I can't type the author's name because I think someone borrowed the book and if it was you, please bring it back! I do believe one of the characteristics of a follower of Christ should be an ability to see and enjoy those moments that you laugh at yourself, others, and enjoy life. This picture is of Kathy Clark, on the left, and my wife, Chris, on the right playing Wii and laughing at each other until we were exhausted. I always enjoy being with Jeff and Kathy because they are always able to make me laugh!

Yesterday was a tough mile of the marathon. Chris has strep throat and still took me to McKinney Regional Cancer Institute for tests in the morning and then to the hospital for a bone marrow biopsy. I won't go into the details, but suffice it to say that since I still have staples in my back, the day and the testing was a challenge. I also now have an extra hole in my lower extremeties. I couldn't eat or drink for 16 hours before the procedures, so the day ended with the best cup of coffee I have ever had at Starbuck's, the humble abode of angels and caffeine. I will update everyone on the battle with cancer later. For now just laugh with me.

"So where is the laughter," you ask? Our nurse at the hospital, Leeann, did a wonderful job of preparing me for the surgery. As she was reading my file (yes, I have a large one now!), she commented that God may have saved my life with a sneeze, which is how I had my first back pain. Before I could respond, because I always respond verbally, we were interupted by the dark angel from the lab, to draw more blood. Soon Chris had to leave the room and I was put to sleep for the biopsy. The next thing I am aware of is Leeann patting my cheek and saying, "Kevin, I need you to take deep breaths. You are making alarms go off." As I was returning to the real world I recognized my nurse and if you know me, I still had thoughts that I had not verbalized and they were like hot lava, needing to be released. I said with a drug induced, thick tongue, "Leeann, are you a Christian?" She smiled at me sweetly and said, "No, not yet. I need to clean up the room and the blood first."

I know I am a member of the coach's fraternity and we have been labeled as mentally challenged at times, but this conversation now had me completely perplexed. She wasn't a Christian yet, so I was assuming she was pondering this decision in her life. I was now fighting the anethesia fog with all my might as I realized the weight of the dialogue. But what about the blood? Was she struggling with the Jesus' sacrifice for us? What room? At this point she looked at me and I guess saw the look on my face and said, "What did you ask?" I repeated my question and she began to laugh so hard. I wanted to laugh with her, but what was funny? She said through tears of laughter, "I thought you asked "Leeann, is Chris with me?"

Soon Chris was in the room with me and we continued to laugh. The last 3 weeks have had a profound heaviness, but each day Chris and I have found a reason to laugh. I hope you have laughed with us today. I agree with Peggy Noonan who said:

"Humor is the shock absorber of life; it helps us take the blows and survive."

"Winning by Finishing!"

2008-12-04T20:15:00.000-08:00

I have not always been a runner. I have always been intrigued by runners and especially by marathoners. I ran my first marathon in April of 2006 and it was a life changing experience-not because the time in which I finishedI the race or by the ease of the race. The number of spectators and volunteers amazed me and the enthusiastic encouragement by these total strangers was emotionally moving. Why did they feel the need to call out my name? Why did they stand and pass out water and energy gel?

They wanted me to FINISH!

I remember turning the street corner for the last half mile and hearing the announcer calling out bib numbers,names, and where these runners were from. I remember wondering if my legs would forgive me for continuing to ask them to move after 26 miles. I remember seeing my family on the sidewalk with the other spectators. Chris, my wife began to run on the sidewalk alongside me, telling me to finish. "Keep running!" she shouted, and continued to run through the crowd calling my name. Then the announcer said, "Kevin Weaver, bib #879 , from Honey Grove, TX, and this is his first marathon." Encouragement- what a powerful thing it can be.

Two weeks ago, I was told I had a tumor on my spine. All the other discouraging words followed quickly: malignant, large, radiation, chemotherapy.....................but God knew I needed encouragement and how He has provided! I have had more cards, food, phone calls, e-mails, gifts, and other sacrifices by friends and family than I would have thought possible.

God has allowed this trial at the perfect time for Him to be glorified!

I watched my mother, who was in a tragic accident months ago, walk into my hospital room to say, "You can do this, Son." My father, who survived brain surgery three years ago to tell me, "Son, you are made of tough stuff, now prove it." My other parents, (some people call them in-laws) have dropped everything to care for our children and to do all the little things that are not really little things at all. They love me as their own son and that I do not understand. My children have stepped to the plate and taken over responsibilities, understanding that Dad might miss an event. A brother and sisters who have encouraged by doing, without being asked. An assistant coach, Coach Lane, who I had the privilege to coach, take over a team. A principal, who is a dear friend, fill every gap and love my family as his own. A friend in Kathy Clark, the girls' coach, who makes me laugh and loves me like a brother.

What do I hear in all of this? You can do it! Don't quit! Keep running! FINISH!

2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Gal 6:2 (NKJV)

Don't get Blogged Down!

2008-12-04T13:23:00.000-08:00

I am new to blogging, but I think this might be a great way to post thoughts. A friend at school shared a book with me about surviving cancer. One of the chapters said that writing and sharing your thoughts is a great way to gain perspective. I enjoy writing and maybe this will be a healthy exercise of slowing down, thinking, and being honest about my feelings. I will not let this be a burden. I keep a personal journal but this might be a good communication method also with my friends and family.

The picture is of myself and my best friend, soul-mate, and at this time my primary caregiver. I cannot imagine life without her. I hope you enjoy reading my random thoughts and stories as I become a cancer survivor. I am a blessed man and you will realize how truly blessed as I share my story the days ahead.

9 Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. 11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Eccl 4:9-12 (NKJV)